A vampire, werewolf, and a witch walk into a high school…no this isn’t the start of a joke, but the characters in Amy Maurer Jones’ paranormal comedy short. Vampire Valentine is about three misfit supernatural beings who happen to be best friends. Our vampire is Rhapsody Ripper who has crooked fangs and wears braces. Hardy Hunter is a werewolf and is on the football team. He’s protective of Rhapsody and there might be little more to their friendship, but Jones doesn’t expand on this (I believe Hardy is secretly in love with her). Finally, we have Samantha Spell, Rhapsody’s best friend, who happens to be a witch, but she’s still learning to cast spells. So what happens when Rhapsody gets asked to the Valentine’s Day dance by the star footballer? What chaos will ensue? I’m keeping quiet, but I’ll say this, Jones reminds us that high school really does suck.
How is it that vampires, werewolves and witches always manage to become glamorized in Hollywood? They are forever portrayed as the overwhelmingly gorgeous, record-breaking athletic types with off-the-chart SAT scores! This is such a load of crap. Let’s be honest with ourselves for a minute. It’s never easy being different, even under normal circumstances. Now factor in the reality that your DNA is something far from human and imagine yourself wandering the halls of an ordinary mortal high school. You still think this would be cool, right? Well, you would be dead wrong (no pun intended). Take it from someone who can claim this miserable fate, it totally sucks!
The name’s Rhapsody Ripper and I am a freshman at Mundane High. Everyone in my school hates me and my two best friends, Hardy Hunter and Samantha Spell. Why? The answer is very simple. We’re freaks of nature, complete outcasts. We’re para-ab-normal misfits and we don’t fit in. Our peers go out of their way to avoid us on a regular basis, but today something happened that has never ever happened before.
One of them was nice to me. Actually, he was much more than nice. With only five days remaining until Valentine’s Day, Reese Good, the deliciously warm-blooded star quarterback, invited me to the Sweetheart Dance. Maybe this year I won’t have to spend the holiday invented by a greeting card company alone.
What I really liked about Vampire Valentine is that it reminds us what it feels like to be in high school all over again. Do you remember your high school crush? I do, his name was Gunther and he wasn’t the star football player, but he did play on the team. I’d get all tongue tied when he’d try to talk to me, so imagine my surprise when he called me one day and I hung up on him! When Reese Good asks Rhapsody to the dance, I was cheering her on, but then immediately my mind went to Drew Barrymore’s character in Never Been Kissed, where she’s asked to the prom and at the end, her date throws eggs at her from the limo with his real date. Lucky for us that doesn’t happen to Rhapsody, but we do have jealous girls and you can imagine what they’ll try to do to sabotage Rhapsody’s big day. Never fear Rhapsody has her best friend to back her up.
In paranormal books, we are often given characters with perfect powers. I loved how Samantha was learning how to be a witch and there’s a hilarious scene involving a spell gone wrong. Jones reminds what it’s like to be the outsider. My 15 year old self really could associate with Rhapsody and Samantha. Jones also shows us how students don’t quite understand people from different backgrounds. She does a superb job in Wildflower with this and here she touches upon it with her three misfits. For example, Rhapsody is asked to play the witch in the school play so her fellow students can burn her at the stake and she has to explain that she’s a vampire. Jones is a teacher and it’s very clear from reading this and Wildflower, that she truly knows how to get into a teenager’s mindset.
Vampire Valentine is a delightful read! If you’re a parent, this is definitely a book you and your teenager can both read and enjoy.